COW PILE

I have a curious fascination with cow abduction. I do not know why. I’m not into the “Mutilated Cow Found in New Mexico” headlines. At all.
However, the concept of a cow getting sucked up into a tractor beam is just so absolutely hilarious to me. I mean, cows? Why cows? Other than the fact they are so dingedly adorable?

We are called upon to actually believe intelligent beings, with technology far beyond our collective imagination, skate through galactic wormholes and meteor storms … for cows.

The entertainment factor of bovine ascension alone is so high for me that I collect “Cow Abduction” trinkets. They make me chuckle every time I look at them. But more about that later.

I did some research on this riveting topic so you don’t have to. Lo, I found the first recorded case of cow abduction!

1897
It seems a man by the name of, I kid you not, “Alexander Hamilton” spoke of his poor cow and a cigar shaped object in the sky. He had to cut the mooer loose and watched helplessly as the ship disappeared with his cow. The article also mentions that Alexander Hamilton was a bon-a-fide member of a group of tall tale tellers. Well … Isn’t that just what the government would want us to think?