Sammy's Club

I have a curious fascination with cow abduction. I do not know why. I’m not into the “Mutilated Cow Found in New Mexico” headlines. At all.
However, the concept of a cow getting sucked up into a tractor beam is just so absolutely hilarious to me. I mean, cows? Why cows? Other than the fact they are so dingedly adorable?

We are called upon to actually believe intelligent beings, with technology far beyond our collective imagination, skate through galactic wormholes and meteor storms … for cows.

The entertainment factor of bovine ascension alone is so high for me that I collect “Cow Abduction” trinkets. They make me chuckle every time I look at them. But more about that later.

I did some research on this riveting topic so you don’t have to. Lo, I found the first recorded case of cow abduction!

1897
It seems a man by the name of, I kid you not, “Alexander Hamilton” spoke of his poor cow and a cigar shaped object in the sky. He had to cut the mooer loose and watched helplessly as the ship disappeared with his cow. The article also mentions that Alexander Hamilton was a bon-a-fide member of a group of tall tale tellers. Well … Isn’t that just what the government would want us to think?

https://science.howstuffworks.com/space/aliens-ufos/cow-abduction.htm

1932 Saint Paris, Ohio

2022 Saint Paris, Ohio

Anyways – trinkets!

Welp.
It’s been another long strange year. I moved. I am now in a farmhouse with my buns and an upstairs art studio (my bed, complete with Batman sheets, is up there as well).

I *love* rural life. Truly. I was born in a farming community, spent all my formidable years in one and now, it appears, I shall be buried in one.

And – that’s fine by me. Suburbia never knew what to think of me anyways.

I found a chicken cam on YouTube. I swear to God – only in Ohio …
FOWL OHIO

THE HOLLY KING

Continue reading 2022 Sounds Like Science Fiction

His Twitter sparks joy. There. I said it. And I am a better person for having said it.

I normally ignore the filthy rich. I can’t relate to them. Heck, I can hardly wrap my mind around the words, “expendable income”.

Remember this?

This is pretty much how I view Wall Street shenanigans:

But then GameStonk happened:

While I was keenly following the stock market like a Hedge Fund, I saw this:

Is this guy the Everyman’s billionaire?

Yes! Yes, he is.

So … I Tweeted @ him and asked if he would pay my art school student loan. I also shared my age (indicating I’ll die before I even get close) as well as my opinion that art degrees should be illegal.

I would love to have that loan gone! I would much prefer that I somehow hit big with Regarding Comic and Raging Bunnies and wipe that God forsaken loan out! Alas, I have no clue how to even begin. I’m flying by the seat of my jammy pants at any given moment.

Anyway, I remain hopeful that Daddy Musk will come through. I’ll keep you posted. </sarcasm>

From the sketchbook:

ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL – Daniel Clowes

You’re welcome.

God requires that we assist the animals, when they need our help. Each being has the same right of protection.

-Francis of Assisi

I am not Catholic. If you want to label me perhaps “Heretical Non Denominational Buddhist Wiccan Kinda Believer” would cover it.
Honestly, I’m white knuckling it in the belief department.

I ddocall myself “Christian” because it’s what I seem to know most about. Well that and feminine symbolism. People would tell you otherwise about me being “Christian”. I have no problem with anyone’s path – unless the “tools” of that path are used as weapons. Stop doing that. Stop. You have no right to declare any brand dogma superior and you can’t legislate morality for the masses. 

So stop it.

But I digress.

I was reading about Saint Francis of Assisi. What a cool guy! He called all of creation “Brothers” and “Sisters”.
And there is so much YES to that. I decided to write a sermon to my rabbits in the vein of Assisi.
Because this is how I roll, dagnabbit.
…….

Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord.

Psalm 150:6

Sister rabbits, praise our Creator [by any name in which we call upon the Creator] and love Them always. 
They clothed you in warm fur to protect you, gave you swift legs to carry you and blessed you with a radiance of wit.

Among all of Their creatures, They made you cunning and quick. [… but first, they must catch you.]
They gave you a soft fleeting foot and a silent voice yet you rage profoundly eternal in my heart.

You are in perfect alignment and await my redemption.
You are perfect in creation.
You are blessed and a blessing.
…….

RESPONSE OF THE CONGREGATION

Humans, be kind stewards to all creation.

In this, the apocalyptic year of 2020, expect the unexpected. I received notice today that our very own mad plague doctor himself, Doctor Sammy, has been spotted.

No need to fear it as a bad omen. In fact it is quite fortuitous in that tomorrow is the warren’s all time favorite holiday: HALLOWEEN!

A big “thank you” to the reader who sent this in – there truly are no words. 

Welp.

Back to the drawing board. Literally!