DEAR SAMMY,
People are always talking about the White House Dog (Major) or the White House Cat (Socks). But no White House Bunny? C’Mon people. I’m right out front. Just open the damn door.
On The White House Lawn,
—Anonymous
Dear Guy Fawkes,
Well … what did you expect?!
🍀
• ••
DEAR SAMMY,
Who taught these hoomans to build a bunny home?!? Have you seen these? They are nothing better than large chew stations! There’s no dirt, no grass, no underground tunnels! You would NOT believe what they use as a tunnel! It’s plastic, it rolls around and it sits on carpet. It’s ridiculous! We need somebun to teach them how to dig a proper bunny home.
—Bunstruction Expert Cocoa
My dear Wreckxpert Cocoa,
Hoom the Builder!
Can they fix it?
Hoom the Builder!
NO, THEY CANT!!
• ••
DEAR SAMMY,
My name is Rosie. I’m a guinea pig who wants to join your revolution. I can collect Intel, go in small places rabbits can’t, distract humans with my cuteness and more. I’ve worked with the Guinea Pig Underground, Snakes Slithering for Safety, and Street Cat Society.
Please consider me.
—Rosie
Dear Agent Rosie,
Welcome to The Resistance.
• ••
DEAR SAMMY,
Are rabbits born perfect or do they learn perfection over time?
Also… why is Rodin’s thinker not accompanied by a rabbit… that has to be what he’s been thinking about all this time, doesn’t it?
—BunMa
Dear BM,
First Question: Do you really have to ask?
Second Question: The François-Auguste-RenĂ© Rodin sculpture you are referring to is actually titled, “The Poet”, you absolute Cretin.
• ••
ASK SAMMY ANYTHING!
REMEMBER, DEAR SAMMY, IS PARODY. SAMMY IS A RABBIT, NOT A THERAPIST. NOR CAN HE ACTUALLY TYPE. REGARDING COMIC TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY ACTIONS, DISAPPOINTMENTS OR ANGUISHES THAT MAY RESULT FROM READING THIS COLUMN. IF ANYONE THINKS THIS COLUMN IS ACTUALLY FUNNY, THEN REGARDING COMIC TAKES ALL THE CREDIT.
