The Blog • The Myth • The Buns

Posted on February 19, 2025February 19, 2025 by ThatLady — Leave a comment

Column 4

DEAR SAMMY,
My hoomin tell me all the time that I’m sweet, beautiful but she forbides me eat that yumi spicy hay (wires). I wanna only show her my skills and get more practice to earn more treats. Could you tell sth to her?
Vexed in Wroclaw, Poland

Dear Poleaxed in Poland,
See below.

DEAR SAMMY,
Why does my bunny like to chew on cords? Today, i was working and while I was in the middle of talking to a client, my computer began to slow down. Next thing I know, i look over and my bunny was hopping away. When i looked at my internet router – the light was red!!! I ran my hands thru the router cable and saw some suspicious chomps!
Concerned in Colorado Springs

Dear Colorado Desperado – If That’s Your Real Location,
I would be remiss if I didn’t point out the similarity of these two letters that are TOTALLY FROM DIFFERENT PLACES. While you were busy yapping into your strange glowing box, your bunny bravely battled the venomous electric snake slithering through your home! With great gallantry and perseverance, that courageous coinín vanquished the vile beast before it could strike!

Yes, the internet perished in the battle, but consider it a small price to pay for your continued existence. Maybe next time, express gratitude.

^{••• •}

DEAR SAMMY,
What’s your favourite thing to do to drive That Lady absolutely bonkers? Also, how did you wind up learning every single language in the world, including all the animal languages?
Love an adoring Canadian admirer who wishes she could snuggle you up with love!

Dear Crushing in Canada,
My favorite thing to do to drive That Lady crazy? Sister, she is already freaking NUTS. I know all languages due to the fact that I, Samuel L. Jackson, am a Renaissance Rabbit.

^{••• •}

Dear Anonymous,
No.

^{••• •}

DEAR SAMMY,
My ex and I are still friends after a tough breakup that ended a three year relationship. We are in the same D&D (Dungeons & Dragons) group and neither of us left, so we actually still see each other once a week. It’s been four years since we split, so things have been good between us for a long time.
Well… things are mostly good between us, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt by the way things ended. I was the one who officially called it after a long time of suspecting they weren’t attracted to me, and a confirmation by awkward silence was the last straw. They have not dated anyone since, but they didn’t want me when we were dating, so I’m sure it’s not because they want me back.
Lately, they have gotten super into a certain fictional pairing of a show we both watched. They feel very connected to one character in the pairing, and have said that I am very much like the other character. Our friends agree, and want to do a cosplay group that would include us as those characters.
It’s been ages since we hung out one on one, and I miss being their close friend. We were best friends for years before we dated – the friendship part was always good, even if things were tough getting past the breakup. When I asked if we could hang out soon, they said yes, but aren’t being very communicative and won’t nail down plans.
Maybe it’s nothing, but I feel like something is up. It feels like something has changed recently, maybe even just with this character pairing obsession. They are very non confrontational, and it’s impossible to get the hard honest conversations out of them. It could be nothing, but I just have this feeling, and I have known them for a long time.
What does it mean if your ex is obsessed with a character pairing that reminds them of our relationship?
Flipping in Ypsilanti, MI

Dear Must Be Tipsy In Ypsi,
What?

^{••• •}

DEAR SAMMY,
My hoomin says he loves us and gives us lots of treats and tasty foods, but he also insists on…… TOUCHING MY EARS!
How can I stop his heinous behavior?
Nervous Nelly in North West England

Dear Nervous One,
THAT. BASTARD.

^{••• •}

ASK SAMMY ANYTHING!

REMEMBER, DEAR SAMMY, IS PARODY. SAMMY IS A RABBIT, NOT A THERAPIST. NOR CAN HE ACTUALLY TYPE. REGARDING COMIC TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY ACTIONS, DISAPPOINTMENTS OR ANGUISHES THAT MAY RESULT FROM READING THIS COLUMN. IF ANYONE THINKS THIS COLUMN IS ACTUALLY FUNNY, THEN REGARDING COMIC TAKES ALL THE CREDIT.

Posted on February 12, 2025February 12, 2025 by ThatLady — Leave a comment

Column 3

DEAR SAMMY,
My rabbit says I need more hay for good digestion but doesn’t seem to understand that hay isn’t good for humans. How do I convince her?
From Nanaimo

Dear Nana Bananarama,
Stop your kvetching and eat your hay. Nice try though.

^{••• •}

DEAR SAMMY,
My bunny Vanna and I are moving soon. She is so shy and scared even of me! She was very badly abused before I adopted her. I know moving will be hard on her. How can I help her get the kind of self confidence you so eloquently have?
Apprehensive in Halcyon

Dear Hoppin’ Around in Halcyon,
Don’t move.

^{••• •}

DEAR SAMMY,
My rabbit (her name is Priscilla) insists on taking food out of my mouth. She’s especially fond of pineapple. Should I be worried she might get sick from hooman germs?
Voracious in Vancouver

Dear Vomitous Vancouver,
Priscilla does not have a problem here—you do. Stop being a walking salad bar. Chew with your mouth closed and Priscilla will be fine. And for the love of all things holy, get Priscilla a cooties shot. You may be a bio-hazard. Why are hooman people so farging disgusting?!

^{••• •}

Dear Anonymous,
Yes.

^{••• •}

DEAR SAMMY,
I have 5 concubine ‘pretend bunnys’ to indulge myself with when I can’t hump my humans shins. My question is, do they get jealous or is it ok to have a favoured one? Btw, human took me to have my balls removed twice but I reacted to the anesthetic so I get to keep ’em! Love your stuff. My Room, Barnstaple, North Devon, England
Love from Oakley. Xxxx

Dear English Oak,
Where do you find the time?! And HUZZAH to the bullocks victory—you, Sir, are a legend among lagomorphs! That being said, let’s be honest: those velveteen vixens, pretend bunnies or not, are always keeping score. There is no peace in the land of concubines—only silent rivalries. So, have a favorite if you must, but be warned—before you know it, you’ll wake up with all five staring at you like a judgmental tribunal. Sleep with one eye open, Oakley.

^{••• •}

LAST WEEK’S LAMENTS
DEAR SAMMY,
If you, ‘End all the hoomins’, where will you get your treats from?Worried in Suffolk

DEAR SAMMY,
Reading your advice and sensed a theme but can’t follow through. Hooman is obtuse but she seems to “luv” me. Maybe they make hooman training aids? (Mine is trained ok but there’s many hoomans who might be able to learn?)
Melbourne FL

DEAR LAMENTERS,
Please note that I did not advise ending all humans! Just the ones who withhold treats. And even then, I was speaking metaphorically. For the most part. Probably. Look, I can’t be held responsible for what a treat-starved bunny might do in a moment of wrathful hanger.

^{••• •}

ASK SAMMY ANYTHING!

Posted on February 5, 2025February 5, 2025 by ThatLady — Leave a comment

COLUMN 2

Feel free to ask Sammy anything!

Posted on January 30, 2025January 30, 2025 by ThatLady — Leave a comment

Commissions

ARF

As you may, or may not know, I have something called Essential Tremors. I’m not sure if it’s that I’m older or if it was Covid or whatever – but the shakes are getting shakier. For example, I was visiting with friends at a restaurant. Eating has become quite the comedic entertainment. At one point I get some of that lovely green lettuce doused in dressing upon my fork, go to lift the bite to my mouth, suddenly my hand decides to audition for “Bobby Brady’s Cymbal Solo” in the middle of a quiet restaurant. Fork is a clanging, lettuce is a flying, and the entire place becoming intimately aware of my personal percussion performance. I did what any sane girl would do – I laughed. Then basically apologized to the entire restaurant. (One of said friends later called wondering if my condition was fatal).

There are workarounds and very very very expensive products. I bought the SILVERWARE THAT WON’T BANG YOUR PLATES. The trick to the ones I have are that they are weighted. They are weighted to the point they make my hand tired. I made the executive decision to skip public salads and get something easier. I can hold a bowl of soup pretty well. I sure can’t eat it with a spoon! And don’t think for a minute I haven’t downed a bowl in public. Half of which ends up down my chest. I’m basically become a walking Rorschach test. Yes, I’m a hot mess but I embrace the chaos.

” … to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee;
for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee!”

I do have meds for the shaky hands, but remembering to take them? That’s a whole other level of fine motor skill I haven’t mastered. Believe it or don’t, alcohol is known to actually help. So, my backup plan is beer. It’s like a chaotic good situation; I either stumble through life pill-less and shaky, or slightly less shaky and slightly tipsy. It’s a coin flip, really, and the coin is a bottle cap.

ANYHOO

I say all the above to share that holding a pencil is getting rough. I have the heart to still do graphite pencil work – but color pencil levels me. The last 2 color commissions I had took FOR EVER. I restarted both of them. Maybe it’s perfectionism … Let’s just say they were less “artistic masterpieces” and more “artistic meltdowns.” I’m seriously considering dusting off the ol’ graphite pencils for some detailed commissions. Frankly, anything feels easier than wrangling those killer rainbow sticks right now.

Color pencils?! More like KILLER pencils!! Amirite?!

Regarding The Secret Life Of Rabbits, however, is my place of zen. The memorial book above was a labor of love and a bit involved but I loved every moment. Drawing someone’s rabbit in a single comic? Absolutely! So, back to comic commissions and maybe even graphite commissions! Any thoughts?

Posted on January 29, 2025January 29, 2025 by ThatLady — Leave a comment

COLUMN I

DEAR SAMMY will be one of the reward tiers on my Patreon when it launches ~~later this year~~ before I eventually die. As part of this tier, Sammy may not always publicly share your question, but rest assured, he WILL answer it.

While the Patreon is still in the works, please don’t expect a personal email response just yet. However, you can look forward to seeing this column every Tuesday—and your letter might just be featured!

Feel free to ask Sammy anything!

Posted on December 15, 2024December 15, 2024 by ThatLady

WHEN RABBITS WERE GODS

This is the age of the fifth sun. After the destruction of the fourth sun, the gods gathered together to decide who would become the next sun. Tecciztecatl, proud and rich, volunteered, but they needed someone else. So Nanauatl, a poor god, was chosen.

next sun.A huge bonfire was built, and when the time came, Tecciztecatl attempted to throw himself into the flame, but his fear overwhelmed him. Nanauatl closed his eyes and jumped. Ashamed, Tecciztecatl followed him into the fire.

Eventually, two bright suns rose in the sky. Angry that Tecciztecatl continued to follow Nanauatl, the other gods threw a rabbit at him, dimming the sun and leaving an imprint of a rabbit on his face. This is why the Aztecs say there is a rabbit in the moon …

—Memory of Fire: Genesis, Eduardo Galeano.

The moral of the story:

Please don’t throw rabbits at the sun. Or anywhere for that matter.

DEAR SAMMY

Column 4

February 19, 2025
DEAR SAMMY

Column 3

February 12, 2025
DEAR SAMMY

COLUMN 2

February 5, 2025

Posted on April 20, 2023April 20, 2023 by ThatLady — 1 Comment

FANGIRL

Remember: It costs nothing to encourage an artist, and the potential benefits are staggering. A pat on the back to an artist now could one day result in your favorite film, or the cartoon you love to get stoned watching, or the song that saves your life. Discourage an artist, you get absolutely nothing in return, ever.
Kevin Smith

All year I braced myself to turn 57. Until 4 weeks before I turned 57 when I realized I was actually going to be 58. I then needed a real pick-me-up, yeah howdy.

I have never used the expression “yeah howdy” until the sentence above. It’s a weird time for me. Anyway, I saw that Kevin Smith was going to be at GalaxyCon. I actually called it “GalaxyQuest” until 4 weeks before the actual event. I’m starting to see a pattern emerge here …

*I ACTUALLY PAID TO SEE THIS. DON’T JUDGE*.

I love Kevin Smith. I like his movies, yes – but it’s his TALKS that never fail to hit me in the feels. I remember watching an interview that turned into him just waxing philosophical. For almost an hour. The primary gist was “Never give up.” And part of it was about not being too old to start.

*“KEEP ON KEEPIN’ ON!” — BUDDY CHRIST. PROBABLY.*

Well … I’ve already started and wavered – but I’ve started.

So one fine day, Kevin Smith liked a Regarding the Secret Life of Rabbits’ comic tweet! A super hero mash-up, in fact. Yeah Howdy!

As an act of gratitude I made a comic of Sam and Silent Bob.

And he RETWEETED IT!

and then it was picked up by some Hollywood website!

I went viral for a hot second. I mean, if you consider a tweet getting retweeted by a celebrity and some attention from a Hollywood gossip website going viral. Alas, fame still eludes me. Although, for $8.00 a month Elon Musk will let me have a blue checkmark!

I decided I wanted to meet this man. Kevin Smith – not Elon Musk.

I bought a “for $$$ get something autographed” ticket. The big day arrived. I cosplayed as … well … you know … That Lady.

Ok, it really wasn’t cosplay. I always look like That Lady. Kevin Smith was in a curtained-off booth, hidden from view. It was all very mysterious. Apparently mystery makes my palms and upper lip sweat. “OH. NO.” I thought to myself, “I HAVE A HAG HAIR.”

*Hag Hair: the thick black hair that sprouts on a person’s top lip or chin when their estrogen level crashes. Usually the thickness of a corded rope.

*SERIOUSLY, I CAN LASSO CATTLE WITH THESE THINGS.*

My turn! Kevin Smith smiled and extended a hand to shake mine. I looked at his hand. I looked at him. I blurted out a startled, “Oh!” and shook his hand. I am smoothe as silk.

I put “SAM AND SILENT BOB” in front of him. His hands lightly slap against the table.

“YES!” He looks at me, “I remember this!”

ME: You liked one of my tweets and I did this one to thank you!

KS: YES!

ME: <complete fangirl delayed reaction> OHMYGODYOUREMEMBER?!

KS: YES! <indicates comic> IS THIS YOU?!

ME: YES!

KS: THIS IS GREAT!

ME: OHMYGOD!

We seriously stood there exitedly yelling in each other’s general direction. Kevin Smith actually acted as geeked out about the comic as I was over him.

He shared that he had forwarded it to his daughter (the person I was actually focused on back then because – bunny mom) and she apparently found it … HILARIOUS.

I then explained my following grew because of that. I got a fist bump and he put his hand on his heart and said, “I love that.”

So FINALLY we get around to the signature and I haven’t once thought about that ebony serpent poking out under my nose.

He wanted to know whom to make it out to … “Could you make it out to my rabbit, Sammy?”

He put his hand out again. I looked at said hand again. I looked at him again. I blurted out a startled, “Oh!” and shook his hand again.

ME: Ok. I’m going to go cry now.

KS: Awwww. Don’t do that!

But I did.

I came away from this experience with a couple of things:

A. How does a person do as much as he does (podcast, comics, movies, speaking, autographs, publicity tours in general)? Everyone wanting and taking a little piece of you. How does he not lose his mind?

and

B. I never told him my name. He only knows Sammy.

If you wait long enough, everything you hope will happen, will happen. It just requires patience. It doesn’t require money. It requires patience and longevity. If you wait long enough in life, patience and longevity will absolutely deliver it to you.
Kevin Smith Again

Yeah Howdy.

PS. Don’t wait for someone else to make a way for your dream – make your own way.

Posted on October 7, 2022February 4, 2023 by ThatLady — 3 Comments

MOIDAH

Saint Paris is a sleepy little rural town in Southwest Ohio.

Everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everything about everyone – especially my neighbor! It’s as if he is Don of a local Mafia.

Except that murder and homicide just don’t happen here.

… apparently in September 2020 it did!

HOLY PONY WAGON, BATMAN!

30 minutes later:
Good Lord that was so … disturbing!

ME READING THE DOCUMENT

OK. So generally speaking … murders do not happen here.
UNTIL NOW!
dun dun dun dunnnnnn

● 19:20 hours, body located on north side of the living room.

*IRONIC THAT IT OCCURRED IN THE LIVING ROOM …*

● Appears to be a homicide.

● Only evidence is a small round turd near the body.

DNA has certainly come a long way and one would think this would be an open and shut case. However, there are things impeding the investigation.

● Suspicious rabbit staring, unblinking as we complete this investigation.

Fortune smiles upon us: a witness steps forward!

*I SAW THE WHOLE THING! I’M TRAUMATIZED!*

It is a well-documented *fact that the perpetrator, more often than not, returns to the scene of the crime.
*Every show on Investigation Discovery

Well, well, well. Time to pay a certain suspect a visit.

All that’s left now is answering the question: Was it planned or was it a crime of passion.
Or was it COW ABDUCTION?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

That was the last blog post. Check it out!
https://sammys.club/cow-pile

And here I thought wires were the only thing I had to worry about. Wires and carpet. Wires, carpet and books. Wires, carpet, books and art supplies. Wires, carpet, books, art supplies, clothing, my hair, my eyebrows, and base boards. And now cows.

BEST WITH SOUND

Kids, rabbits chew everything you need or want.

I already ordered another cow from Amazon. I also threw in a phone charger for good measure because – well – it is only a matter of time.

Posted on September 12, 2022October 5, 2023 by ThatLady — 3 Comments

COW PILE

I have a curious fascination with cow abduction. I do not know why. I’m not into the “Mutilated Cow Found in New Mexico” headlines. At all.
However, the concept of a cow getting sucked up into a tractor beam is just so absolutely hilarious to me. I mean, cows? Why cows? Other than the fact they are so dingedly adorable?

We are called upon to actually believe intelligent beings, with technology far beyond our collective imagination, skate through galactic wormholes and meteor storms … for cows.

The entertainment factor of bovine ascension alone is so high for me that I collect “Cow Abduction” trinkets. They make me chuckle every time I look at them. But more about that later.

I did some research on this riveting topic so you don’t have to. Lo, I found the first recorded case of cow abduction!

1897
It seems a man by the name of, I kid you not, “Alexander Hamilton” spoke of his poor cow and a cigar shaped object in the sky. He had to cut the mooer loose and watched helplessly as the ship disappeared with his cow. The article also mentions that Alexander Hamilton was a bon-a-fide member of a group of tall tale tellers. Well … Isn’t that just what the government would want us to think?

https://science.howstuffworks.com/space/aliens-ufos/cow-abduction.htm

1932 Saint Paris, Ohio

2022 Saint Paris, Ohio

*IT’S LITERALLY HOVERING OVER MY HOUSE!!*

Anyways – trinkets!

HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA

Posted on April 22, 2022October 5, 2023 by ThatLady — 5 Comments

GHOSTESESES

I currently reside in an old 1900 farmhouse.

It’s in God’s Country, Ohio.

The neighbors are pretty friendly too.

Mr. Tibbs
[I am friends with all 7,334 cats]

Whilst cleaning one fine evening, I gazed beneath my stove and discovered a dead body! A. DEAD. MOUSE. BODY.

DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNNNN

The scene was horrifying. I mean, what exactly happened here?! Why under the stove? Why under MY stove? Was it an accident? Murder? Suicide?

Whatever the circumstance, my house now has a GHOST MOUSE. As fate would have it, there were also LIVE mice. They were squatters and were pretty active squatters at that.

It comes with the harvest-time territory: plow the fields, the mice find new digs. Not one of those 7,334 cats offered assistance. Immediately I researched “Mouse Landlord Rights: The Politics of Eviction” and found this:

The CaptSure Original Humane Mouse Traps, Easy to Set, Kids/Pets Safe, Reusable for Indoor/Outdoor use [take breath here] for Small Rodent/Voles/Hamsters/Moles Catcher That Works. 2 Pack (Small)

The following is no exaggeration:

And when I multiplied the above equation by 2?

**THE WHISKERS’ NEW RESIDENCE**
[I wave and yell, “Hi Mr. and Mrs. Whiskers!” Whenever I drive by. Don’t judge.]

If you are in need of a catch-and-release that actually works so well it’s stupid, here is an Amazon link:
https://www.amazon.com/UPGRADED-CaptSure-Release-Reusable-Hamsters/dp/B073GRKG88

Reusable-Hamsters … HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Anyhoo

To honor the dead Grampa Whiskers (?) [I am assuming he died of natural causes unless there was a hefty life insurance policy involved] I acquired this Grampa Whiskers (?) cast iron door stop memorial. Enjoy the bunny molt and chewed walls as well.

*“Rural Home Security” is seen in the corner*

SIX MONTHS LATER

The lights began flickering on and off. Sometimes they stayed off and I would have to go flip the circuit breaker to get them on again – only to have them flicker and go out once more. “Where is your circuit box?” I’m sure you’re asking. I am so glad you asked.

But I digress …

We all know what causes these flickering lights: GHOST MICE. Well, it just so happens I own a Ouija [an Ouija?] Board. For mice. I dialed up GHOST MOUSE.

“Mr. Ghost Mouse, are you flickering my lights?”

The room was silent as the planchette began to move! E-G-R-E-G-I-O-U-S
At least I think that’s what it spelled out. The lights were flickering and Mice Ouija boards are really freaking small.

Egregious: “shocking” My god. A message from the beyond! FLICKERING LIGHTS / SHOCKING! Wait …
I walked to the hardware store for a new switch and replaced it. And now all is well.

*This post is dedicated to one of my favorite comics illustrators, LIZ CLIMO:

–THE END–

PS. Fluffy says “Hi”