Travel Diary

OCT 1 2020 CALIFORNIA
I am off on a grand journey! I begin in PUH-LENTY of time for the quarantined holidays and look forward to making a “certain someone” very happy!

OCT 20 2020 OREGON
I don’t pretend to understand the mysterious ways of the United States Postal Service.
In fact, I just go with the flow. I DO know, for a fact , that for whatever reason, I am somewhere in Oregon!

NOV 15 2020 INDIANA
Hello Fellow Travelers!
At last, after a few weeks of laying low, I am almost to Ohio!
I enjoy travel as much as the next guy but I am ready to land! Darned mail-in voting put a glitch in mail travel!
But that’s OK!! I am PSYCHED!

NOV 15 2020 TOLEDO, OHIO
The LAST STOP before my final destination! I cannot tell you how excited I am!
I will still arrive in plenty of time for grand celebrations!

TOLEDO OH SIDE STORY:
In December 2018, a Toledoite saw a big ol’ weed horkin’ up the intersection of Secor and Alexis.
The city knew about said weed but seriously, Toledo has a little more to worry about than an unsightly, overgrown weed.

As a lark, said Toledoite went into the corner drug store for décor. A Christmas ball strategically placed was like a beacon in this less-than-stellar town.
Then … it grew and it grew. Like the Grinch’s heart except there was no roast beast to carve.
The Toledo community left gifts, scarves, shoes, blankets, mittens, money, non-perishable food etc, for people in need.

It was to the point there were daily pick-ups for charity. We had Santa, elves, and a stream of carolers.
Good-hearted people came out of the woodwork (Surprise! There are a couple of those still out there!).
It was the best thing ever and restored an ounce of my faith in humanity.

Then, of course – someone tried to commercialize the thing and it all died.

NOV 20 2020 DETROIT, MICHIGAN
What?! Wait.
Ohhhh, Ok. THIS is the LAST STOP before my final destination. I am still excited! I am going to make it before Thanksgiving! I think.

NOV 30 2020 CHICAGO
HOLD. UP.
Why in Hades am I in Chicago?! How did I get rerouted?

TRUE STORY:
Anish Kapoor [the artist behind Chicago’s bean seen above] PURCHASED THE RIGHTS to the Blackest Color Ever Made.
I can’t make this up.
So, in retaliation, another artist , Stuart Semple, made his own super black—and now? It’s Even Blacker.
SEE IT HERE
Everyone is allowed to use Stuart Semple’s new Black 3.0
—except Anish Kapoor. You have to digitally sign-off on a promise that you are NOT Kapoor or associated with his studio.
Yes. Really.

DECEMBER 15 2020 AUSTRALIA
???????????????!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, wait. That’s not me. Or is it?

LOST: Two (2) SUNNY SAM BEACH TOWELS. Both headed for New South Wales to different addresses. Both lost on the same day at the same distribution center. BOLO for said towels on the beach. Approach with caution. Ask politely: Excuse me … but do you happen to work for the parcel service?

DECEMBER 27 2020 KENTUCKY
Help.

Not gonna lie. I’m a little bummed that my packages are more well-traveled than I. Godspeed all you lost packages! May you bring a smile to someone’s face!